My mood is fuked up yall..and i aint here to complain about a damn thang cause bottom line is im alive, healthy, gotta couple dollars in my pocket and my family is all good but still there are things that i wish i could change ,take back or just simply make better.. In my lifetime i have met and connected with some of the realest people and to be honest ,those people are probably just as close as they were then, as they are now but lets go to the famous quote "people change with time"..So true..But my mood is all about change and the frustrations that comes with change..Some things change for the better and some things just point blank simply "change"...I was sitting here a moment ago thinking on what the hell im gonna do about work,musik,life, and happiness..Well the happiness part i can deal with cause for the most part i am happy everyday i wake up...Kids smiling, wife is smiling and i woke up to see yet another day...But how about the other thangs that KEEP that happiness alive...My job suks ass juice thru a straw and the only thing that i can change about that is getting a new one, but whos to say that once i find a new gig, if in time imma get tired of that one too...I wanna work with the youth of the world, weither it be a counselor,mentor,teacher, big brother, whateva it is , i "think" i would be happy doing that...But what happends? i go out and inquire and look for a position like that and they either not paying enough, or got me working with mentally challenged kids or just dont have a position open or better yet and i love this one, "they require a degree"...Now i know plenty of people who are hands on with a position of this magnitude and dont have the credentials to do the job, but they getting paid for it...I coach pop warner football and deal with kids ages ranging from 12-15 and they respect me for being who i am..A young positive black man..and they love it..they joke and laugh wit me, but at the same time, they will come to me with a problem as well and thats voluntary..they dont have to do that, they just feel comfortable enough to voice it to me ..Whoelse can they feel that comfortable with other than a big brother or a counselor or mentor?...I fit that perfectly like a foot to an ankle sock, but i cant get paid for it!!!???? things that make u go hmmm...Awww man and i said to self that i wasnt gonna get on this musik thing but i cant help it...I hear all tha time "when u make it", yall are hot, different, man i need to work wit yall, yall gotta fresh sound and the latest and greatest, "yall are Triatholon rappers" unsure if i spelled that right but get my point....All of that and im still spending all my personal money to make it happen...Going off of my own instincts for this shyt and where is it gettin me???/..But i have to keep tellin myself 'i do it for the love of good muzik' which is true but im going broke doing it..But they say, you gotta spend money to make money.....Then there are the people from ya past that really make u go hmmm..i wonder what could have come from that..I may get in trouble for saying this but this is my world on here, there are people that i have feelings for that I cant act on...Imma happily married man but there are people that i look at like...damm what if...its real...and real is real..i cant do shyt about it...but think..and that thinking can eat at chu...but i have to man up and say....OH THA HELL WELL>>...lol
I love my life, just wish i could dictate it...But thats GODS job not mine.....Unclutter your life! (Simplify & eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary can speak)....
~Asap
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